


need you more than want you (want you for all time)

by blazeofglory



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1960s, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Past Drug Addiction, Period-Typical Homophobia, Repression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26005594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazeofglory/pseuds/blazeofglory
Summary: Klaus leaves San Francisco to spend the summer with Allison and Ray, but he's less than impressed with Dallas.Then he meets Dave.[A no powers, no time travel, and no major character death AU, where everyone is from the 60s.]
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz
Comments: 46
Kudos: 143





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from "Wichita Lineman" by Glen Campbell, courtesy of the 60s playlist I made just for this fic. 
> 
> love, as ever, to Sina.

Klaus isn’t impressed with Dallas so far. It’s dusty and hot and the accents are honestly a little grating. He’s only been here a couple of days, but he misses San Francisco already, and he’s beginning to question why the _fuck_ he decided to spend the summer with Allison and Ray. Rationally, he knows it’s for the best--things had been getting a little _crazy_ in San Fran, and Klaus can just relax in Dallas. But he _likes_ crazy, and he certainly doesn’t like Dallas. 

Still, Klaus is determined to cheer the fuck up, and since he’s trying to cool it on getting high every day, that leaves one other tried-and-true approach: shopping. 

Klaus wanders around the city for a while, in and out of stores, steering clear of all sorts of cowboy boots, cowboy hats, and _way too many pairs of khakis_ , before he finally finds something that catches his eye. He makes his way through the store, picking up a variety of plaid pants, striped pants, and the most _fantastic_ bell bottom jeans, and then some striped shirts, low cut shirts, and breezy, flowy shirts. A few other shoppers cast him wary glances as his arms are laden down with clothes, but he pays them no mind--he breezes right past a stern-looking woman looking at ties with her husband and heads over to the dressing rooms. 

It takes a while for Klaus to try everything on, constantly moving in and out of the changing room to look at himself in the full-length mirror, building up a wrinkled pile of clothes that he intends to buy. He puts on the last outfit option, black and white striped pants and a flowy white top, and steps out once more to look in the mirror. 

“Excuse me, sir?” 

Klaus turns to find a sales associate standing a little ways away, holding a handful of hangers like she’d been on her way to put them away. He raises his eyebrows at her and she blushes. 

“I’m sorry, sir, that shirt must have been left in the wrong department,” she says awkwardly, and with such a _heavy_ Texas accent that Klaus immediately hates. “It’s a woman’s shirt.” 

“Yeah, but it looks _nice_ on me,” he counters with a grin, and the woman’s frown deepens. He can tell she has more to say and he’s already so _tired_ of this, tired of _Dallas_. This bullshit doesn’t happen in San Francisco, not in the places he frequents. 

“Sir, I can show you some nice shirts in the men’s department--” 

“It does look nice on him,” a voice cuts in, blessedly free of any vestige of a Southern accent, and Klaus immediately turns to see who it came from. 

Apparently there are Greek gods in Texas. 

This man is tall, and he has _great_ arms, and he’s wearing khakis, but no one’s perfect--Klaus can forgive that, because _holy shit,_ that _jawline_. 

“ _Thank you_ ,” Klaus enthuses, grinning. “It suits me, doesn’t it?” 

The sales associate sighs loudly but seems to give up--she turns away, headed back to wherever she was going with all those hangers. Vindictively, Klaus hopes she drops them all. 

“It does,” the man agrees, smiling right back--and _wow_. What a fucking smile. Okay. Maybe Dallas doesn’t suck. 

“Are you from around here?” Klaus asks, leaning on the closed door of the dressing room as he eyes this handsome stranger. “I’m… new in town.” 

“I’ve been here a while,” the man answers, still smiling, and then he holds out his hand, which Klaus takes immediately, shaking politely. Klaus doesn’t particularly want to let go of such a strong hand so quickly, but he’s not keen on getting punched today, so he lets go. “I’m Dave.” 

“Klaus,” he introduces himself, with his most flirtatious smile. “I’m glad someone in this god forsaken town appreciates my sense of style.” 

Dave’s eyes dart down Klaus’s body, cataloging every inch of him, and then Dave bites his lip as he looks back up to meet Klaus’s eyes. Holy _shit_ , Dave is _checking him out_. Is Dave going to _ask him out_? Here, in public, in the middle of the day? Klaus is _vibrating_ with excitement, heart thumping with a thrill he hasn’t felt since leaving San Fran behind. 

Ever since Klaus got here, he’s been wondering where the fuck he’s supposed to meet men--he asked Allison and she had only laughed. But maybe it’s this easy--the local department store has a variety of fun pants and pretty shirts, and at least one _very_ handsome man. Thank _god_ , because Klaus doesn’t think he could make it through the summer without drugs _and_ without dick. He needs _some_ vices, or what’s the point of living at all? 

“It’s not the most open-minded place,” Dave replies, smile dimming a little. He glances around the store, at all the other shoppers giving them curious glances, and then he’s not smiling anymore by the time he looks back to Klaus. “It was nice to meet you, Klaus.” 

Before Klaus can even respond, Dave turns and leaves--he heads right out the front doors, without having purchased a single thing, and Klaus just watches him go. The brief excitement dies out as quickly as it had bubbled up, and Klaus sighs as he turns back to the dressing room. Of course someone handsome and charming won’t ask him out; not here, at least. This is still Dallas, after all. 

Klaus is going to need to buy even more clothes to cheer himself up now. 

* * *

“You bought the shirt!” 

Klaus looks up from his drink, surprised to hear that voice again, but sure enough--there’s Dave, holding a beer, walking right over to sit next to Klaus at the bar. 

“I _did_ ,” Klaus replies with a smile, turning to face Dave. It’s been a few days since Klaus’s shopping trip, and he honestly didn’t think he’d run into this cute guy again. Dallas is a big city, after all--but Klaus is certainly pleased to see him. “Hi, Dave. Fancy running into you here.” 

“It’s the only decent bar around,” Dave replies, smiling right back. He’s so _cute_ , even Allison would have to approve, and she usually _despairs_ over Klaus’s taste in men. But, as usual, Klaus is getting ahead of himself. 

“Are you here alone?” Klaus asks, taking a sip of his sweet mixed drink. 

“I am now,” Dave answers with a chuckle. “I work at the bookstore down the street, I was here with my coworkers but they just headed out. I was gonna finish my drink first.” 

Klaus glances at Dave’s glass--it’s almost empty. 

“How about I get you a new drink?” Klaus suggests, leaning his elbow on the bar and resting his head on his hand. “Unless you have someone waiting for you at home…” 

It’s _bold_ , even for Klaus. If Dave is straight, the odds of him punching Klaus in the face are _high_ and only getting higher. There’s also the risk of the bartender or the other patrons overhearing and letting their disapproval be known--but Klaus can’t _help_ himself. He’s never had great self-control, as Ben is so _fond_ of reminding him, and he just can’t resist a man with a jawline like _that._

Besides, Ben stayed behind in San Fran--Klaus doesn’t have to listen to him anymore. 

Dave just smiles, handsome and polite, and his expression doesn’t give anything away. “Yeah, I’ll take another beer if you’re offering.” 

They strike up some small talk as Klaus gets the bartender’s attention and gets them both more drinks, and he subtly checks Dave out--he’s wearing khakis, _again_. And he’s still _so_ hot anyway. 

“What do you do?” Dave asks, after he finishes a story about the time a dog got loose in the book shop and ate one of their rare books. 

“Currently, nothing,” Klaus admits with a soft laugh. Dave looks like he feels bad for asking, but Klaus just waves a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, I’m not destitute or sad or anything. I’m only here for the summer, after all.” 

“Oh?” Dave rests his elbow on the bar and leans his head in his hand, his position mirroring Klaus, giving him his undivided attention. Klaus has always _loved_ attention. “What brings you here for the summer? You don’t look like a big fan of sunburns and rodeos.” 

“I’m staying with my sister and her husband,” Klaus answers, grinning. “I was in San Francisco with my brother, but I thought maybe a change of pace might be nice.” 

Dave takes a long drink of beer, raising his eyebrows at Klaus. “And how do you like Dallas so far?” 

Klaus leans in and whispers conspiratorially, “To be honest, I’m not sure I do.” 

When Dave laughs, it’s the sweetest sound Klaus has heard in a long time. 

* * *

About an hour later, Dave offers to drive Klaus home, and Klaus knows this is his _chance_. He really can’t tell if Dave is just being polite or actively hitting on him, but hey, Klaus will take a free ride with a cute guy any day. And Dave isn’t just cute--he’s so charming, it’s _insane_. 

“It’s just down this road,” Klaus says, frowning out the window. They’ve already taken two wrong turns because Klaus is _useless_ with directions at the best of times, and even worse in the dark. “I _think_. I keep getting these streets mixed up.” 

“We can just drive around ‘til we see the house,” Dave replies, unphased, as he smiles over at Klaus. “I’ve got nowhere else to be tonight.” 

“Don’t you have work early in the morning?” Klaus asks. That’s why Dave had suggested they call it a night, after all; but Dave just shrugs, looking unbothered. 

“Yeah,” Dave answers. “But I like your company.” 

Klaus has to bite his lip to keep himself from grinning wide--and he wonders, idly, how Allison and Ray will react to Klaus bringing a man home. They won’t care that he’s a _man_ \--the whole family got over their issues with that about a decade ago--but they’ll certainly care if Klaus has sex on their couch. He considers the options for a moment--he could suggest they go back to Dave’s place, or they could park at some deadend street and never even leave the car… It’s a big enough backseat, Klaus could make it work. 

All too soon, Dave slows the car down, and asks, “Hey, is this it? Number 75?” 

“Well, would you look at that.” It sure is Allison’s house. 

Dave pulls up out front, and it’s quiet between them for a long moment. 

Just as Klaus is deciding, _fuck it, I’ll risk Allison’s wrath by inviting Dave inside_ , Dave breaks the silence first. 

“I’m glad we ran into each other again,” Dave says, sending Klaus a nervous glance that Klaus can’t quite interpret. Dave pats his pocket, then takes out a pack of cigarettes, offering one to Klaus. “I wanna get to know you.” 

Klaus takes the cigarette with a small smile, placing it between his lips--and Dave, so _polite_ , leans over with his lighter, and Klaus cups his hand around Dave’s as he lights the cigarette, as if to ward off a wind that doesn’t exist in this car with the windows up. Dave’s hand is warm under Klaus’s, and their eyes meet, and then--the cigarette is lit and Klaus breathes in smoke and Dave pulls back. 

“Thanks,” Klaus says, rolling down his window a few inches and letting the smoke out slowly. 

“We should do this again sometime,” Dave says, finally lighting his own cigarette. 

“How’s right now? You could come in for a night cap,” Klaus counters, watching Dave with heavy lidded eyes. 

But Dave isn’t looking at Klaus. Dave is staring down at his own hand in his lap, slowly flexing his fingers. 

“I should get going,” Dave says quietly, and--well, that’s that, isn’t it? Maybe Dave wants this, but he isn’t going to _act_ on it, and _god_ , Klaus is so tired of living like this. Klaus doesn’t have shame about his desires, but he doesn’t fault Dave for his--he’s just _tired_. He misses San Francisco. 

This is a rejection, certainly. But Klaus has never been one to give up easily. 

“Well, if you really do wanna do this again...” Klaus takes a pen out of his pocket, then reaches over and plucks the cigarette carton out of Dave’s lap. He feels Dave’s gaze on him as he writes his phone number--Allison’s number--down the side of the carton. Klaus hands it back with a grin, and their fingertips brush. “Call me?” 

Dave runs his finger over the deep indents that Klaus’s writing left, and then he pockets the carton with a nod. His serious expression slips back into a smile. “Yeah, I’ll call you. I could use another friend.” 

Klaus opens the car door and steps out, into the warm summer night. He stretches for a second, and then he ducks down, sticking his head back in the car. “I think we’re gonna be _great_ friends.” 

Klaus closes the car door, and through the window, he can see Dave smile again. 

* * *

Miracle of all miracles, Dave calls the next day, and they meet up again that very afternoon. 

“God, I haven’t done this in _ages_ ,” Klaus declares as he shoves his feet into bowling shoes. Dave, sitting across from him, grins. 

“So you’re gonna be easy pickings,” Dave teases. 

“I never back down from a challenge,” Klaus replies, tying up the laces and wandering over to look at the various brightly colored bowling balls. He glances over his shoulder at Dave, grinning right back at him. “That being said, I sure as shit won’t bet any money on me winning.” 

Klaus has never actually been a very competitive person; he’s backed down from _plenty_ of challenges. His brothers were the ones that always had something to _prove_ \--Luther and Diego always trying to beat each other in physical competitions, Five always needing to be the _smartest_ , and Ben just trying to prove that he could keep up. Klaus has just… never been bothered. 

Klaus arbitrarily picks an orange bowling ball and triumphantly turns back to Dave, who looks away quickly, like he’d just been staring at Klaus’s ass while he was bent over to pick out a bowling ball. Klaus’s grin widens. 

For what must already be the tenth time today, Klaus wonders if this is a _date_. Dave said he wanted a _friend_ , but was that just code? Klaus is usually so _sure_ of these things, but Dave is harder to read than the guys Klaus usually goes for. He usually goes for sure things, and Dave sure as hell isn’t one. 

Huh. Maybe Klaus _does_ like a challenge sometimes. 

“I used to bowl with my sisters,” Dave says, cheeks pink when he looks back up. He joins Klaus by the racks of bowling balls and inspects them for a moment before picking a green one--though Klaus suspects he probably picked it for more than just the color. “I don’t mean to sound _cocky_ , but I got so good at it, they quit playing with me.” 

Klaus meets Dave’s eye and smirks. “Good thing I’m not easily scared off.” 

They start the game, and of _course_ Dave is much better at it than Klaus, who considers it a victory if he doesn’t get a gutter ball. Klaus is much more focused on the victorious smile on Dave’s face every time he gets a good score, and that’s _way_ more satisfying than the few times that Klaus actually manages to get a good score as well. 

“So your sisters,” Klaus says when Dave is about to take his next turn. “Are they in Dallas too?” 

Dave bowls--and gets _another_ strike. He turns back to Klaus, smiling ear to ear, and it’s stupidly attractive. 

“They’re actually all still in Wisconsin,” Dave replies, his smile turning a little bittersweet. “I still see them for Hanukkah, most years.”

Klaus cocks his head, focused on Dave and not really caring that it’s his turn to bowl. Dave sits back down and doesn’t prompt Klaus to take his turn, so Klaus figures he must not care too much either. 

“Why are you here in Dallas?” Klaus asks, a little tentatively, nudging Dave’s foot with his own. “The sunburns and the rodeos, right?” 

Dave laughs softly, but all mirth leaves his voice as he answers, “I moved here a few years back to help my uncle out at his hardware store. But the store went under and my uncle got sick, and… well, I was already here, so I figured I’d stay to take care of him.” 

“That’s sweet of you,” Klaus says, because what the fuck _else_ is he supposed to say? He can tell there are more layers here, but he’s not gonna ask Dave to pour his heart out to a near-stranger in the middle of a very public bowling alley. 

Dave just offers a tight smile. 

“I believe it’s my turn for a strike!” Klaus declares suddenly, and then Dave is laughing again as Klaus _confidently_ gets a gutter ball. 

The game continues on for a while--Dave keeps his steady lead and Klaus eats a lot of nachos. They chat about Dave’s work and local gossip and the best place in town to get tacos, and it’s just as easy and comfortable as it was the night before. Maybe it’s not a date--and how would Klaus know anyway, since he hasn’t been on a date in years--but it’s _nice_. 

Klaus hasn’t laughed this much since he got to Dallas. 

“Tell me more about you,” Dave says eventually, smiling and still pink-cheeked from laughter. They’re both sitting again, and Klaus has forgotten whose turn it’s supposed to be. “You’ve got a big family, right? It sounds like you’re close with your siblings.” 

“In a sense,” Klaus starts with a shrug. He’s working on things with Allison now, but they haven’t been close since they were teens. He’s close with Ben, of course, but… things are _weird_ between them now, and Klaus is hyper aware of that every time he thinks of all the miles between them. They left home together, all those years ago. This is the first time they’ve ever been apart. 

It feels wrong. 

“We sort of scattered to the wind after high school,” Klaus continues, gesturing with his hand whimsically. “Me and Ben to California, Allison to Texas, and all the others stayed in New York but parted ways. We _don’t_ do Christmases together.” 

“Do you miss it?” Dave asks, then quickly adds, “California, I mean.” 

Klaus holds eye contact for a long moment, staring right into Dave’s eyes like he’s trying to figure out the _exact_ shade of blue he’s seeing. A slow smile creeps across Klaus’s face. “I miss it less and less by the minute.”


	2. Chapter 2

Before Klaus knows it, it’s almost routine--Dave calls, and they hang out, grabbing lunch and seeing a movie and bowling and drinking, at least a few times a week. 

Dave never kisses Klaus goodnight, but that’s… it’s fine. After the first few times they sit in Dave’s car, the air thick with tension, and Dave can’t meet his eyes, Klaus stops hoping it’ll happen. 

And it’s not like being friends with Dave is a _hardship_. 

Allison and Ray are good company, but they hover--they _worry_. They’re not subtle about it either; they think Klaus is going to slip up and use again. He shouldn’t fault them for that--after all, he was too high to make it to their _wedding_ , and god only knows what Ben told them about what happened in California--but it’s hard not to resent it a little bit. But Dave… Dave smiles at Klaus like he doesn’t think Klaus has ever done anything wrong in his _life_. 

It’s Dave that Klaus wants to see when he has a horrible day--which is convenient, since he’s already just down the street from the bookstore Dave works in. Klaus gets a number of odd looks as he walks--he’s a _sight to see_ today, and the locals are staring at him like he’s got three heads, as if they’ve never seen a guy _bleed_ before. He bares his teeth at one person that cranes their neck to watch him go by. 

Luckily, Dave is the first face Klaus sees when he opens the door to the bookstore. 

“Klaus, I didn’t know you were coming by today!” Dave exclaims with a smile--but it immediately falls as he clocks Klaus’s split lip. He rushes out from behind the counter and over to Klaus--he reaches out, like he’s going to touch Klaus, but then he pulls his hands back. “Jesus, what happened? Are you okay?” 

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Klaus dismisses with a soft laugh. “Sorry I got blood on the doorknob--you might wanna clean that before it scares off paying customers.” 

“Sissy?” Dave calls out, not taking his eyes off Klaus. “Can you come take over the front?” 

A second later, Dave’s coworker emerges from the back, holding a half-eaten sandwich. She frowns at the sight of Klaus, looking concerned, and she somehow doesn’t seem assuaged by his smile and wave. 

“Yeah, I’ll take over,” Sissy agrees, heading over to the register--she ducks down for a second, then emerges with a first aid kit that she holds out for Dave. He takes it with a tight smile. 

Without another word, Dave leads Klaus into the backroom, and Klaus goes with a long-suffering sigh. 

“I’m _fine_ ,” Klaus insists, though he sits on the old, beat up couch when Dave gives him a _look_. 

Dave sits down next to him and starts going through the first aid kit--then he reaches over and carefully grabs Klaus’s hand and begins to gently clean his bloody knuckles. For all that Dave’s hands are large and strong and calloused, he’s so _gentle._ This is a pale facsimile of hand holding, but it’s the only hand holding Klaus is ever going to get from Dave, and that thought stings more than the cuts do. 

“Tell me what happened,” Dave says quietly, focused on Klaus’s hand and not looking up. 

Klaus sighs dramatically. 

“Some village idiot didn’t like my outfit, or my face, or something,” Klaus replies, a forced levity in his voice. “Can you believe that? This my _nicest shirt_ and now I’ve got blood on it.” 

Dave finishes bandaging Klaus’s knuckles and looks up, blue eyes bright, and gives a small, strained smile. “I can help you get the blood stains out when we’re done.” 

“This is why you’re my favorite, Dave,” Klaus says. He smiles, but then winces as it tugs at his split lip. Dave frowns too, then reaches out slowly and he so _carefully_ touches one fingertip to the cut, swiping away a drop of blood. It doesn’t even hurt. 

God, Klaus wants to kiss him. 

Klaus leans in, just a little bit, and Dave shifts away. 

“Did he say anything to you?” Dave asks, brow furrowed. 

“You already know what he said to me,” Klaus replies tiredly. “I don’t really let that shit bother me, not after all this time. I do, generally, try to avoid getting punched in the face, but _hey_ , I gave as good as I got. You should see his black eye!” 

Dave looks away, then stands up abruptly, pacing between the couch and the unopened boxes of new books, fists clenched at his sides. 

“No one should talk to you like that,” Dave finally says. Klaus snorts a laugh and Dave looks back over at him, brows furrowed. “What?” 

“Dave, guys have been calling me a queer since before I even knew I was one. They’re assholes, but it’s not like they’re _wrong_.” 

Dave freezes for a second. 

“Dave,” Klaus says, softer. “This isn’t news to you.” 

“I know.” Dave runs a hand through his hair, turning away again, and then turning back just as quickly. “It’s--just because you--I don’t care if they’re _right_. They don’t get to talk to you like that! They don’t get to _hit you!”_

Klaus just watches Dave for a moment--for a man so reserved, his heart is on his sleeve right now. Dave is angry and afraid--for Klaus, yeah, but it goes beyond that too. Dave has a smear of Klaus’s blood on his hand and Dave is flushed and Dave is beautiful, and Dave is just as queer as Klaus. 

He just hides it better. 

“I’m okay,” Klaus says quietly, and all the fight seems to go out of Dave at once. He sits back down next to Klaus--he uncurls his fists and his hands are shaking. Klaus wants to reach over and cover Dave’s hands with his own, but he knows he can’t. It’s hard to know what Dave wants out of this friendship, but Klaus has made it all too obvious what he wants--and he doesn’t want to put any pressure on Dave to address the rainbow elephant in the room. 

“I’m gonna kick that guy’s ass,” Dave finally says, sounding tired now too. 

“Mm, there might be a line,” Klaus replies with a chuckle. “Allison is going to be _livid_.” 

* * *

Klaus was right--Allison _is_ mad. He wouldn’t have even told her, but there’s no disguising the way his face makes it readily apparent that he’s been recently punched. He knew she would want to know who did this and how and why, and he’s prepared to talk it out with her, because he’s trying to do _better_ with his siblings. 

But he wasn’t prepared for this reaction. 

“Allison, hold on, hold on,” Klaus says quickly, darting out to grab Allison’s arm before she can grab the phone. “Let’s not do that.” 

“What?” she asks, frowning at him. “You know Ben would want to know. He’s been worried about you.” 

“He’s been worried I’m going to _relapse_ ,” Klaus counters, rolling his eyes. “That’s different.” 

Allison huffs and pulls away from Klaus’s grip, but she doesn’t reach for the phone on the wall again yet. She crosses her arms and levels Klaus with a stern look. 

“He calls when you’re out, you know,” she says. “He knows you’re mad at him, but he’s just looking out for you. He’s always looking out for you.” 

“I never _asked_ him to,” Klaus points out, tossing his hands up in frustration. “I don’t need a babysitter, he appointed _himself_ to that position! And I’m here because he talked me into it! How is that not enough for him?” 

Allison sighs heavily. “Maybe if you talked to him, he’d be a little more convinced that you’re actually… doing okay.” 

_Sober_ , Klaus’s mind supplies. She meant to say sober. 

Because Ben doesn’t believe that Klaus is sober. 

Fuck. 

“Why can’t he just take _your_ word for it?” Klaus asks. 

“Klaus, I barely _see_ you,” she replies, raising a brow. “I can’t give all that strong of an argument in your favor here, not when you’re never even home. Where do you _go_ when you leave? Is this even the first fight you’ve been in?” 

Klaus jerks back like he’s been slapped. 

Oh. So Allison doesn’t believe him either. 

He’s been clean for three tortuous fucking _months_ , and they don’t even believe him. He was clean before he even got to Dallas! 

“I go out with Dave,” he answers, quieter now, almost defeated. “I haven’t been getting into any trouble, this fight wasn’t my _fault_. I’m _sober_.” 

“No, you’re not,” Allison replies softly. “I know this _Dave_ takes you to bars.” 

“Oh my god, that’s _different_!” Klaus stands up, taking a few steps away from the table and leaning against the kitchen counter. He fishes his cigarettes out of his pants pocket and lights one, hands shaking. He glares at Allison as smoke fills the air between them. “I can have a couple of drinks, it’s _fine_.” 

“Does Dave tell you it’s fine?” she asks, and her voice loses all the softness now. 

“What is your _problem_ with Dave? You’ve don’t even know him!” 

“I know your taste in men,” Allison argues. “And from what I can tell? He’s leading you on!”

“We’re _friends_ ,” Klaus counters, frustrated. “Am I not allowed to have friends? I don’t know what the fuck Ben has told you, but not everything in San Francisco was bad! I had friends there!” 

“Yeah, friends you did _drugs_ with.” 

Klaus rolls his eyes and takes a long drag, letting the smoke out slowly. “Dave is as fucking wholesome as they come. And he’s my _friend_. He’s the only good thing I’ve found in this _fucking city_.” 

“Oh, thanks!” Allison glares at Klaus, looking properly pissed off now, and the vindictive part of Klaus is _glad_. He shouldn’t be the only one feeling like shit right now. “I let you sleep on my couch all summer, but some _random guy_ is all you care about?” 

“That’s not what I _meant_ ,” Klaus huffs, gesturing widely with the lit cigarette. “You _know_ I appreciate you and Ray letting me stay here, but _god_ , why are you even here? This place sucks for me, and I _know_ it’s so much worse for you two.” 

“It’s not that simple,” Allison replies with a tired sigh. The fight goes out of her all at once, and when she reaches over, Klaus passes her a cigarette. “We can’t just _leave_. There’s work to be done here, and me and Ray--we aren’t going to give up on it just because life is a little easier somewhere else.” 

Allison leans against the counter next to Klaus, and he lights the cigarette for her. It’s quiet between them for a long moment. 

“I believe you’re sober,” Allison says quietly, once Klaus has already finished his cigarette and moved onto the next one. “I know this hasn’t been easy for you.” 

“I’m trying,” Klaus replies quietly. And he _is_ , he’s trying so fucking hard. He still gets cravings, he still _itches_ for a hit when he feels like this--anxious and rattled and useless. 

Klaus has known for a very long time that he is difficult to love, but he’s _trying_ to make it easier. He’s been trying to be better. 

“I’m sure Dave isn’t a bad guy,” Allison continues cautiously. “I’m glad you made a friend here, I really am. But I know you, Klaus. I know how you feel about him, I can see it on your face when you say his name.” 

Klaus sighs and rubs a tired hand over his face, which still _hurts_. Fuck, it’s been such a long day, he almost forgot that he got punched in the face this morning. 

“There are worse things than falling in love with someone who won’t let himself love you back,” he says softly. 

“Yeah, but he’s gonna break your heart,” Allison replies gently. 

Klaus doesn’t have a response to that.

He knows she’s right. 

“Don’t tell Ben about this,” Klaus says. “About the fight, about Dave, about any of it. Just… tell Ben I’m doing good.” 

Allison hesitates for a second, then nods. “Okay. I won’t tell him.” 

* * *

“We should do something this weekend,” Klaus declares resolutely, sending Dave a sideways glance. They’re standing outside, back behind the bookstore, leaning against the bricks and barely sheltered from the rain by the edge of the roof. “Something to cheer me up!” 

It’s only been a few days since the _incident_ , and Klaus hasn’t been able to shake his dark, maudlin mood all week. Things have been kind of tense with Dave and still kind of weird with Allison, and it’s been raining for _days_. 

“I think it’ll rain all weekend,” Dave replies with a tired sigh as he plucks the cigarette from between Klaus’s fingers and brings it up to his own lips, taking a drag. “We could go bowling again on Sunday?” 

Klaus steals the cigarette back, letting his fingers brush Dave’s hand as he does. It’s chilly out, for a summer day in Dallas, so he scoots a little closer, their shoulders bumping together. It’s raining hard and the wind carries it a little, but they’re still mostly dry for now. They should probably go back inside anyway, but Klaus knows that neither of them want to--there are people inside, and Dave always looks so _nervous_ when people give Klaus curious looks. 

“Allison asked me to help clean up the salon on Sunday. What about Saturday?” Klaus counters, then raises the cigarette to his lips and carefully tries not to think about Dave’s lips touching it and how much he’d really like to touch Dave’s lips. 

Of course, all he succeeds in doing is thinking about Dave’s lips. How can he _not_? Dave looks so handsome like this, his hair a curly mess from the humidity and his eyes dark as he stares out at the rain hitting the empty concrete parking lot. He looks pensive and brooding, biting his lip like he’s deep in thought, and _god_ , Klaus would like to bite Dave’s lip for him. 

“I can’t do Saturday,” Dave replies. He opens his mouth like he’s going to say something else, then closes it again, frowning. 

Klaus holds out the cigarette and Dave takes it immediately, inhaling deep and letting it out slowly. 

Finally, Dave says, “I have a date.” 

“A _date_?” Klaus echoes immediately, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice. All summer, never once has Dave gone on a date or even made any inclination that he was interested in anyone--except for the way he looks at Klaus sometimes. 

Dave is in the closet--who the _fuck_ could he be dating? 

“Yeah, you know my friend Steve? He, uh, set me up with his cousin,” Dave says quietly, still not looking at Klaus. “I’m kind of nervous about it, you know? I haven’t been on a date in ages.” 

Klaus turns, leaning his shoulder against the brick wall so he can watch Dave’s face. His voice more carefully controlled now, he asks, “Who’s his cousin?” 

Dave’s eyes dart over to Klaus for a second, then he looks away again as he answers, “Her name is Mary.” 

“Oh.” 

Klaus swallows thickly and leans his back against the rough brick wall again--though he doesn’t let their shoulders touch this time. Dave finishes the cigarette, and Klaus can tell that they both want another, but they left their packs inside and they’re shit out of luck. 

The rain keeps falling and it seems louder now, thunderous as it hits the ground. Klaus’s pants are getting damp as the wind picks up, and goosebumps raise on his skin. Between the rain and the wind and the gloom, it doesn’t feel like the hot, dusty Dallas that Klaus has come to know--it feels like San Francisco. Like home. 

This revelation doesn’t bring Klaus any comfort. 

There are so many things Klaus wants to say--so many questions on the tip of his tongue. He wants to ask Dave what the fuck he’s _doing_ , what he thinks he’s going to get out of this, how he thinks this can possibly work. Dave doesn’t like women. Klaus knows that Dave knows this. He can just _tell_. He can _feel it_. 

Dave likes men. Dave likes _Klaus_. 

Doesn’t he? 

Doesn’t the way that Dave looks at him _mean something_? Don’t these quiet moments together mean something? Every time their hands brush, every time their eyes meet, every time Klaus wishes that Dave would lean in and kiss him--it all means something to Klaus. It means too much. It means _everything_. 

After a long moment, Klaus can’t help but quietly ask, “Are you sure that’s… what you want?” 

Dave sighs, barely loud enough to be heard over the rain. He sounds so _tired_. “Yeah, of course it’s what I want.” 

“But--” 

“I have to find a wife eventually, right?” Dave cuts in, finally looking at Klaus again, something desperate in his eyes, silently begging Klaus to understand. “That’s how the world works.” 

“In _Dallas_ ,” Klaus replies, exasperated. “But this isn’t the _world_ , Dave.” 

Dave shakes his head, offering a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Klaus, you’re only here for the summer. It’s different for you.” 

“It could be different for you too!” 

“I’m stuck here,” Dave says, smile slipping. His blue eyes look gray in the gloomy afternoon, as dark as the sky above them--beautiful and distant and weary. “I have responsibilities, I can’t just leave. I’m not like you.” 

Klaus looks away, unable to hold Dave’s stormy gaze. “So you’re gonna marry a woman.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Even though--” 

“Yeah, _even though_ ,” Dave says. “Maybe not right now. I’ve never even _met_ Mary before. But… yeah. At some point, I need to settle down. Start a family. I’ve already put it off so long.” 

“Right.” Klaus’s chest feels tight and--and he feels sick. This feels so much worse than being punched in the face. He can feel Dave still looking at him, but Klaus stares resolutely at the ground, at the rain splashing into the puddles near their feet, and he tries not to be sick. His voice barely above a whisper, he asks, “What about me?” 

“What _about_ you?” Dave replies quietly. “You’re leaving. You’ll be gone by the end of the month.” 

“And if I wasn’t?” 

Dave is quiet for a moment, and he sounds defeated when he says, “It wouldn’t change anything.” 

Klaus isn’t really sure when he started crying, but the dampness on his cheeks isn’t from the rain. He’s been so _stupid_ to think that this could end any other way. This is _Dallas_ , it’s not home, it’s not a place where he can be happy. It’s not a place where Dave can love him. 

But maybe that has nothing to do with anything. Maybe--and it hurts even to think this--but maybe this would have gone the same fucking way in California. Maybe Dave just doesn’t love him, and it’s as simple as that. Maybe the problem isn’t Dallas and the problem isn’t fear and shame--maybe the problem is just Klaus. 

With shaking hands, Klaus wipes away the tears and pushes away from the wall, stepping out into the rain. It’s cold on his skin and he’s soaked through in seconds, and he doesn’t fucking care. 

“Good luck on your date,” Klaus says, turning to Dave with a careful, practiced smile. “You should take her bowling.” 

Klaus just stands there, getting colder by the second, while Dave holds his gaze for a long moment. 

“Bye, Klaus,” Dave finally says. 

Without another word, Klaus turns and starts the long walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell i'm craving a cigarette?


End file.
